A Christmas Note from Ben Stein
Here with at this happy time of year, a few confessions from my
beating heart: I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see
them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog
biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery
stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they?
Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken
up? Why are they so important? I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is,
either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife. Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a
subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are.
Is this what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad. Next confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was
Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call
those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel
threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are:
Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry
Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready
to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we
are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It
doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a
key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a
creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred
yards away. I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew and I
don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being
Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of
getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came
from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in
the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat. Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that
we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship
God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot
of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the
America we knew went to.
beating heart: I have no freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see
them on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am buying my dog
biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask the checkers at the grocery
stores. They never know who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they?
Will it change my life if I know who they are and why they have broken
up? Why are they so important? I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is,
either, and I do not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife. Am I going to be called before a Senate committee and asked if I am a
subversive? Maybe, but I just have no clue who Nick and Jessica are.
Is this what it means to be no longer young. It's not so bad. Next confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was
Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call
those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel
threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are:
Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry
Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready
to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we
are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It
doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a
key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a
creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred
yards away. I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew and I
don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being
Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of
getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came
from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in
the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat. Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that
we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship
God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot
of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the
America we knew went to.
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